The week after midterms, week 6!

So, after midterms have been a little rough, for I have not been going to my lessons like I should due to multiple things. Most importantly, I took this time to reach out to our campuses counseling resources and I am on the up and up!

It is hard being a college student on top of having my own mental health problems to juggle, so for a few weeks I did not keep up with my lessons like I should have. But this week I have my vocal lesson! I am finally feeling like I can go and be successful.

I was very worried and anxious about finally going back to my lessons because I had missed so much but I was honest with my instructor about my struggles. I was just worried that she maybe would not want me back, maybe she would be harsh about my grade, or maybe it would just be hard to get back into it. I continued to overthink it instead of being honest and knowing that my vocal professor has my best interest in mind. 

I would walk into my lesson profusely apologizing and opening up about my struggle with being diagnosed with a mood disorder and trying to navigate my way through different types of medicine that could help me the most. I was honest that I haven't been able to get out of bed most days, but that I was here now! I did not practice like I should be but that I was here now and trying my best now! My vocal professor would talk about her own struggles and say that we are all just trying our best and that is more than enough. 

My lesson would start with a vocal warm up. We would go through five different warm ups going up and down the piano on 'oohs', 'ahs', and 'ehs'. I still felt anxious about singing for the first time in a while especially in front of someone even if it was just my vocal professor. I think she picked up on it and halfway through the first warm up, she would stop and ask me just to sing. Put my hands at my side and not to think about anything but how much fun it is to be able to sing again. I apologized and jjst said that I know I should be supporting myself more. She stopped me and said, "We are not going to think about what we should be doing but what we are doing." She asked me just to sing, and to let everything else go.

I would go through the rest of the warm ups loosing that anxious feeling and shaking off the mindset that I allowed myself to get into that stopped myself from wanting to sing. I did not have to think about what i needed to do but I could just enjoy what i sounded like for the first time in a long time.

We would then move over into My Life from Les Mis and practice running through the song. I would again be honest in saying that I have not practiced like I should but that I had worked on it. She would say that she did not ask my pianist to be there, and I said that I was not worried about her showing up and was happy just to be the two of us. So, she would play my notes as I sang the first time through. I had a few missteps but I felt good!

My vocal professor would express that I definitely know this song and would search up a backing track for me to sing with. So, I would listen to the piano and sing along with the music. This would prove to be harder because my rhythm was a little out of step, so we would go over the music with the piano a few more times.

My time for my lesson was just about finished so the last thing we would do is put in breathe spots for when I need to breath throughout the song. We would both speak through the music and decide on when I should breath between the phrases and put in my music each breath I should take. 

This was the hardest lesson I have had and it was just to get out of my head and believe in myself to be able to go. I also talked to her about my grade because I missed quiet a few lessons, and she would give me a few different options that will work best and said that she wants to work with me to give me the best grade possible. The vocal staff want to help you and I should never forget that!